Strava For Slow Bicycles

OK – THIS is going to be the Kickstarter project that finally gets me rich:

Strava for slow cyclists

No, really. Not everyone is interested in clocking fastest segments, or cheating their way to yet another “KoM”. No. Some people just want to pootle. But why should they be excluded from the fun?

First up, we need to tweak the criteria – it’ll no longer be about speed. We’ll have categories for…

Shopping by bike

Carrying all the stuff that comes with kids

Riding home from the pub

Cycling with children (extra points for doing it in such effortless, sweat-free style)

Instead of the “King of the mountains” polkadot jersey, we’ll just have polkadots.

(Wear them however you like.)

Wearing clothes that you’re comfortable in

Cycling with improbable luggage. The wetsuit is optional.

Flashing your knickers, or riding while wearing sandals.

Taking time over a picnic – which should ideally involve a tartan rug

We’ll add other classifications, a more rigorous scoring system and a whole lot of hype just as soon as we finish getting the app developed.

Minimum suggested investment will be £10, and this is your chance to be in at the ground floor of something big. Opportunities like this don’t come along often, and you’d be a fool to turn this one down…

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Posted in Bike Culture
4 comments on “Strava For Slow Bicycles
  1. If only I knew what an app was, but I’m far too much of a luddite…

    I’ve done most of those except the flashing of knickers and wearing of Polka dots.

  2. KarlOnSea says:

    You should try them – they’re both very liberating experiences.

  3. Richard says:

    For sports cycling you need an app to record your rides, because it involves the monotonous churning out of miles, and all goes by in a blur. For slow cycling, you don’t need an app, because you gather actual memories in your head – from the beautiful scenery and buildings you admire, to the fun things you do when you stop off on route.

  4. KarlOnSea says:

    Richard – I think you’re missing the point here: Both are pure manufactured demand. So you DEFINITELY NEED the Strava For Slow Bicycles app (and a premier account at that), because this will make me money. 😉

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